| 1 | ((11900 |
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| 2 | . "You cannot just paste code with no understanding of what is going on and expect it to work.") |
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| 3 | (11901 |
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| 4 | . "You can't just make shit up and expect the computer to know what you mean, Retardo!") |
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| 5 | (11902 |
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| 6 | . "You said it didn't work, but you didn't say what it would have done if it *had* worked.") |
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| 7 | (11903 . "What are you really trying to accomplish here?") |
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| 8 | (11904 . "Who the fuck cares which one is faster?") |
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| 9 | (11905 . "Now is the time in our program where you look at the manual.") |
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| 10 | (11906 . "Look at the error message! Look at the error message!") |
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| 11 | (11907 |
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| 12 | . "Looking for a compiler bug is the strategy of LAST resort. LAST resort.") |
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| 13 | (11908 . "Premature optimization is the root of all evil.") |
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| 14 | (11909 . "Bad programmer! No cookie!") |
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| 15 | (11910 |
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| 16 | . "I see you omitted $! from the error message. It won't tell you what went wrong if you don't ask it to.") |
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| 17 | (11911 |
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| 18 | . "You wrote the same thing twice here. The cardinal rule of programming is that you never ever write the same thing twice.") |
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| 19 | (11912 |
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| 20 | . "Evidently it's important to you to get the wrong answer as quickly as possible.") |
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| 21 | (11913 . "Gee, I don't know. I wonder what the manual says about that?") |
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| 22 | (11914 |
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| 23 | . "Well, no duh. That's because you ignored the error message, dimwit.") |
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| 24 | (11915 |
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| 25 | . "Only Sherlock Holmes can debug the program by pure deduction from the output. You are not Sherlock Holmes. Run the fucking debugger already.") |
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| 26 | (11916 |
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| 27 | . "Always ignore the second error message unless the meaning is obvious.") |
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| 28 | (11917 . "Read. Learn. Evolve.") |
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| 29 | (11918 |
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| 30 | . "Well, then get one that *does* do auto-indent. You can't do good work with bad tools.") |
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| 31 | (11919 |
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| 32 | . "No. You must believe the ERROR MESSAGE. You MUST believe the error message.") |
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| 33 | (11920 . "The error message is the Truth. The error message is God. ") |
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| 34 | (11921 |
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| 35 | . "It could be anything. Too bad you didn't bother to diagnose the error, huh?") |
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| 36 | (11922 |
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| 37 | . "You don't suppress error messages, you dumbass, you PAY ATTENTION and try to understand them.") |
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| 38 | (11923 . "Never catch a signal except as a last resort.") |
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| 39 | (11924 |
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| 40 | . "Well, if you don't know what it does, why did you put it in your program?") |
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| 41 | (11925 . "Gosh, that wasn't very bright, was it?") |
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| 42 | (11926 |
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| 43 | . "That's like taking a crap on someone's doorstep and then ringing the doorbell to ask for toilet paper.") |
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| 44 | (11927 |
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| 45 | . "A good approach to that problem would be to hire a computer programmer.") |
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| 46 | (11928 |
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| 47 | . "First get a book on programming. Then read it. Then write the program.") |
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| 48 | (11929 |
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| 49 | . "First ask yourself `How would I do this without a computer?' Then have the computer do it the same way.") |
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| 50 | (11930 . "Would you like to see my rate card?") |
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| 51 | (11931 . "I think you are asking the wrong question here.") |
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| 52 | (11932 . "Holy cow.") (11933 . "Because it's a syntax error.") |
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| 53 | (11934 . "Because this is Lisp, not C.") |
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| 54 | (11935 . "Because this is Lisp, not Perl.") |
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| 55 | (11936 . "Because that's the way it is.") (11937 . "Because.") |
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| 56 | (11938 |
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| 57 | . "If you have `some weird error', the problem is probably with your frobnitzer.") |
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| 58 | (11939 |
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| 59 | . "Because the computer cannot read your mind. Guess what? I cannot read your mind *either*.") |
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| 60 | (11940 |
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| 61 | . "You said `It doesn't work'. The next violation will be punished by death.") |
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| 62 | (11941 |
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| 63 | . "Of course it doesn't work! That's because you don't know what you are doing!") |
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| 64 | (11942 . "Sure, but you have to have some understanding also.") |
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| 65 | (11943 |
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| 66 | . "Ah yes, and you are the first person to have noticed this bug since 1987. Sure.") |
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| 67 | (11944 . "Yes, that's what it's supposed to do when you say that.") |
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| 68 | (11945 . "Well, what did you expect?") |
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| 69 | (11946 |
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| 70 | . "Perhaps you have forgotten that this is an engineering discipline, not some sort of black magic.") |
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| 71 | (11947 |
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| 72 | . "You know, this sort of thing is amenable to experimental observation.") |
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| 73 | (11948 . "Perhaps your veeblefitzer is clogged.") |
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| 74 | (11949 . "What happens when you try?") |
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| 75 | (11950 . "Now you are just being superstitious. ") |
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| 76 | (11951 |
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| 77 | . "Your question has exceeded the system limit for pronouns in a single sentence. Please dereference and try again.") |
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| 78 | (11952 |
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| 79 | . "In my experience that is a bad strategy, because the people who ask such questions are the ones who paste the answer into their program without understanding it and then complain that it `does not work'.") |
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| 80 | (11953 |
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| 81 | . "Of course, this is a heuristic, which is a fancy way of saying that it doesn't work. ") |
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| 82 | (11954 |
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| 83 | . "If your function is written correctly, it will handle an empty array the same way as a nonempty array.") |
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| 84 | (11955 . "When in doubt, use brute force.") |
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| 85 | (11956 |
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| 86 | . "Well, it might be more intuitive that way, but it would also be useless.") |
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| 87 | (11957 . "Show the code.") (11958 . "The bug is in you, not in Lisp.") |
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| 88 | (11959 . "Cargo-cult.") |
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| 89 | (11960 |
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| 90 | . "So you threw in some random punctuation for no particular reason, and then you didn't get the result you expected. Hmmmm.") |
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| 91 | (11961 |
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| 92 | . "How should I know what is wrong when I haven't even seen the code? I am not clairvoyant.") |
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| 93 | (11962 |
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| 94 | . "How should I know how to do what you want when you didn't say what you wanted to do?") |
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| 95 | (11963 . "It's easy to get the *wrong* answer in O(1) time.") |
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| 96 | (11964 |
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| 97 | . "I guess this just goes to show that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it.") |
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| 98 | (11999 . "You are a stupid asshole. Shut the fuck up.") |
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| 99 | (12000 . "Looking for a compiler bug is the second-to-last resort. The last resort is blaming bad RAM. It's never the correct hypothesis.") |
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| 100 | (12017 . "It doesn't need to be portable, it just needs to work on your system.")) |
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